You are successful!

Success. . .What is success? Our society today will tell you that success is measured by the wealth you obtain, the position you hold, your style of clothes, the beauty of your outward appearance, the number of acquaintances you have, etc.  As a child success was something I always longed for. A status which I strived to obtain.  The thought of being known as successful was something that I thought would cure my problems and bring me happiness. Well here is the truth. If we measure our success off of what the world considers “success”, constantly comparing ourselves to others, we will never feel successful.  Instead we will open the door for self-doubt. Which is one of the adversary’s greatest tools.  So how do we become or feel successful? It’s simple. By having a paradigm shift. By seeing success for what it really is. By realizing what success is in terms of our Heavenly Father. 

Towards the end of January I came home early from serving an LDS mission in Honduras. It was something I had planned to do for the next 18 months of my life and after 3 months in… my feet were back on American soil.  While my time in Honduras was some of the best times of my life it was also the hardest, and a wall of challenges existed that I couldn’t seem to just break through.  My once planned future turned into a foggy area of “What now?”.  And to top it off, I had never felt so unsuccessful in my life.  Not only did I not complete by intended time of service, but I had already deferred for college and… I was jobless.  According to the worlds standards, I was pretty unsuccessful.

So how did I get out of this slump of feeling so unsuccessful? By realizing what success is in terms of our loving Heavenly Father and not according to the terms of the world.  I shut the views of the world out which allowed more room for my Savior and Heavenly Father to take root in my heart.  Too often we look at our lives, comparing it to others, and we think to ourselves “I’m a failure”, “I could have done better”, “Why can’t I be stronger?”, or “Wow, I wish I could be like them”.  I beg of you to please stop. Just stop.  Our God is not a harsh God, rather He is our loving Heavenly Father.  He isn’t tallying our failed attempts but instead rejoicing every time we pick ourselves up, wipe the dust off of our knees, and place our feet in front of us. 

Two of the most successful people I know just happen to be my sisters.  One used to have many addictions with substance abuse and the other is currently going through a divorce.  The trials they have overcome and continue to battle each day make them some of the most successful examples in my life.  So whether you feel like you’re on top of the world or you feel like you’re an unsuccessful parent, child, student, teacher, employee, boss, athlete, etc…remember, success is not measured by the heights you reach but instead by the distance you bounce back after you’ve fallen.

 

Con amor,

Paige Porter

Blessings Book

Throughout my life I have been quietly noticing the Lord's "tender mercies" in my life and the lives of my loved ones.  A few years ago a dear friend gave me a "Blessings Book" that I have used to record some of these tender mercies.  As I have been reading through these entries, started about five years ago, I have realized how important it is to write things down when they happen and also, to record our feelings about the experience and what we learned from it. Remembering these experiences has brought so much gratitude to my heart.  Following are a few tender mercies from my life. . .

Two years ago our son was called to serve an LDS mission to Lyon, France.  The most common reaction he got from people was "Oh, you're going to France?  You won't see very many baptisms.  That is going to be a HARD mission."  The very next day, being the beginning of the semester, he was able to pick up a French class to help him learn the language and also, he got a new roommate, a young man who had recently returned from the France, Lyon Mission who told him it was the very best mission in the world.  A year later, Nate's former bishop and his wife were called to serve in the same mission.  He has had so many positive experiences there and has learned to look for miracles or, "the Lord's Hand in all things."

One day near Christmas, I had been thinking of a friend and her family who struggled financially.  I had a feeling that I should make a chocolate pie for that friend.  When I took the pie to her home, she met me at the door and explained how they were trying to celebrate two of their children's birthdays that evening and hadn't had time to bake a cake.  The pie was to be their birthday cake.  They expressed so much love and gratitude for that simple pie that I was in tears (thankful tears) when I returned to my car.

Last year just after the Christmas holidays our daughter Tara and her two small daughters were staying with us.  One morning I went down to see how they were doing and I found our daughter sitting up asleep in bed, holding her sick baby.  I went upstairs to say my prayers and felt a voice say to me, "you could drive them home."  (They were scheduled to fly home several days later.)  I immediately ended my prayer and asked my husband about it and he readily agreed.  So we drove them home to Arizona that day.  They were all so very happy and relieved to be home with their husband and daddy.  The baby had RSV but was able to recuperate at home.  As a bonus, my husband and I had a very fun, bonding experience driving home together.

The Young Women in our Stake were invited to sing in the choir at the General Young Women's Conference in March 2013.  My husband and I were able to attend two rehearsals and the broadcast itself.  During the dress rehearsal, Sister Elaine S Dalton, General Young Women President came to speak to the girls.  She brought the very quilt that my daughter and I had made for her the previous Fall (when she spoke to our young women in the Alpine Tabernacle).  She told the girls that day that the quilt was her favorite gift ever, that she loves everything about it; the roses, the Young Women Value colors and their signatures on the back.  It was humbling to see how much she treasures the quilt that Rebekah and I had so much fun making together.  The whole experience of being there and seeing the changes in the lives of some of the young women as they participated in the choir was a blessing to me!  It was a life-changing experience for some.

I testify that our Father in Heaven loves each and every one of us!  He cares about the big and the small things in our lives.  He knows what makes us happy and sad and He is in the details of our lives.  I know this to be true!  If we are watching, we will see God's tender mercies, His hand working in our behalf. . .miracles, if you will.

 -Kathryn Frandsen

The Perfect Example

A friend of mine sent me this post, wanting to remain anonymous. I was really touched by her honesty in dealing with an ongoing challenge. I believe when we do as she did during times of trial and look to Christ, we gain a better perspective. As she did, we can try to turn these hard times into times of learning and growth. Here's what she shared:

Today was a rough day for me. Time was flying by and while getting ready for church my blood was boiling as I could hear car videos from Facebook downstairs. I had asked him half an hour ago to get ready for church, but my husband still sat in his basketball shorts browsing Facebook. I managed to get my two year old's shirt and tie on before he put up a fight and would not get dressed anymore. I was not going to fight it today. I rushed up to the bathroom before the dam of tears was going to break. Why is this so hard? We have been in the ward for over 5 years and I don't feel like i know anyone..or the people I do know don't seem to care to get to know me, almost like its all a big popularity contest.  Church shouldn't feel like that.. I shouldn't let other people effect my relationship with God.  I don't always particularly like my calling so I struggle to go myself... but why can't my family go to church like everyone else? I slammed the door as I walked out to the car alone. For the first time in 2014, I was going to church, but alone yet again. Anger, frustration, sorrow all run through my body. Why can't my husband just go? After all the stupid times I have went somewhere for him..after all the times I did him favors. 3 hours a week. Thats all I ask for. If he doesn't care to go for his salvation,  then why can't he go just for me? This really got me thinking. Is this the way Christ feels? Going to church, prayer, scripture studying, serving...all things we should be doing, but do I even try? Its hard to understand how he could give everything, even his life and not complain about it. I don't know if my husband will ever actually WANT to go to church, but I need to do my part to be an example to him and my son. It'll be a long and hard road, but I hope and pray it will have some effect on him. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. Alma 36:7.

Guided by God

Hi, I’m Rebekah. I’m a wife and mother of two sweet little guys. Reading is one of my favorite things to do; I enjoy reading about different people and different times. I’m also a quilter, which I like to do when I have some spare time. I love the teachings of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. They influence and inspire every aspect of my life.

With some pretty big changes coming up in the future for our family, I’ve just been thinking a lot about God’s Hand in my life. I feel like every major step of my life has been given the “go-ahead” from Heavenly Father. I’ve prayed and continue to pray about everything, but especially big decisions. It’s so nice to feel peace and confirmation when making a big decision. Some of the decisions my husband and I have made together wouldn’t have been our first or obvious choice, but after much prayer we felt confirmation directing us to move forward. During later times when we could have questioned that choice, we know that it was right because we can recall those peaceful feelings. What a blessing that is to have in our lives! I don’t have to look back and wonder if we did the right thing. I don’t have to say, “what if…” To know that you’re moving in the right direction brings contentment.

Agency, or being able to make choices for ourselves, is huge in God’s plan for His children. He sent us to earth to make choices- choices that would hopefully be made while following His Holy Spirit. We were sent here to be tested, to see if we could do the best with what we’ve got. The gospel is an anchor in my life; something I can hold to that guides my choices and brings me so much peace and happiness.

God knows each of us perfectly. He loves each of us perfectly. He knows exactly what is best for us, and wants to give us what is best for us. Because I know that about Him, I am able to trust perfectly in Him. I can pray that I will know His will in my life, and as long as I follow that, I know things will always work out for the best.